Any way, how the weeks can change. Last week I was full of positive vibes from Beautiful Reiki. Giving Reiki healing is so warm, light, energizing my Niece came over for healing after a nasty experience. She loves the spirit world, asking questions on my believes & where to start. She’s started to travel on a loving positive journey & proud of her energy & enthusiasm.
my lovely week finished with a bang, not just a bang but an explosion of pent-up denial, soul-destroying behaviour. Whilst on such strong medication for my spinal Degenerative Disc Disease & Osteoarthritis one MUST NOT DRINK.
A beautiful loving family wedding, which ended up with me totally exploding. Like a crack of lightning snapping from the sky’s. Totally humiliating my Three Daughters & other family members. Family where trying to calm me. But in that state I’m like a wild horse totally uncontrollable. Until I caught the step with my toe & face planted.
awaking up in hospital with eight stitched to my ear & a face like a jigsaw. My neck was scanned showing a shadow which I believe is the Fusion on C5-6 C7-8 how luck was I not to undo my Surgeons work.
Awaking totally ashamed apologies where need…….
friends & family asking how I was, when I truly didn’t deserve their concern. You see the positive that has raised from this, is ACCEPTANCE I can no longer do the thing I use to be able too, without thinking. Pregabalin, Citalopram & Codeine should not be mixed with alcohol. I have to accept this pain will never go away & life changes are needed. I am alive to watch with pride my three Daughter & Grandchildren grow & enjoy their life’s which is more than my sister that passed at thirty-three.
i may have never had a Mother or Father that excepted, loved, encourage & guided me. But it’s a lot more than many other have had.
My insecurities have grown due to my spinal issues, my surroundings & finances. I’m holding on to my house my the skin of my teeth but can’t let go.
1 – Mobility
2 – Daily Pain
3 – To cut the Cord To my Mother
4 – Loss of income
5 – Taking time
1 – My Daughters & Granddaughter
2 – My Partner
3 – Food in my Belly
4 – NHS
5 – Still have a nice Bottom lol
6 – The Roof over my head