I’m met my elder Brother at the undertakers to choose Mums stationery and coffin for her funeral, we both agreed on light oak and the same stationary for the order of service which was an experience. I mentioned the large Rose quart my younger brother and I placed in Mums hand as she passed into the spirit world, as Mums being cremated she will give it back to us once they’ve prepared Mum for the funeral, which I will cherish. As my brother walked out rushing, I turned to give the young lady a cuddle, that we sat with, she was so loving and caring.
We crossed the road to the florist to arrange the flowers which once agin we agreed on, thinking we’d get a quote but my Brother said no I have things to do today and paid there and then on his company credit card before just walking out with no thank you’d. Again the ladies where so caring so more cuddles I gave. So off I went alone, drinking coffee in the sunshine, thinking jeez rush rush rush and control control control I suppose it’s just his way as that’s the way he’s become so successful. But is he happy!!
Returning back to Mums I took Mitch for a walk and found myself in the local church yard, sitting awhile being mindful of my surroundings, how peaceful. There’s something about churches I adore but don’t get me wrong as again I find them controlling again all about money! But just sitting there closing my eyes the sun on my face, the birds singing away and the fresh air blowing around me I felt peace!
While looking at my photos, the bottom two notice the orbs!
Today was the day you where taken so young at 33 eighteen years, yesterday Mum left us to be with you her heart broken but now at peace with you soon to be flying high.
Welcome Mum with open arms and show her the way. What a journey our life’s have been although we had some real crazy times I hold close to my heart until we meet again.
My beautiful little sister passed on the 03/03/2000. Aged 33. The Number 3
The number of the room my Mum is in at the hospice. The Number 3.
On Mums white board in her room is my Mums name Sue, her nurses today are Sue and Susie, The Number 3.
The cottage I’ve inquired about is. The Number 3.
Do I need to get away from The Number 3 or is it a sign to take the cottage The Number 3?
Number 3 resonates with the energies of optimism and joy, inspiration and creativity, speech and communication, good taste, imagination and intelligence, sociability and society, friendliness, kindness and compassion. Number 3 also relates to art, humour, energy, growth, expansion and the principles of increase, spontaneity, broad-minded thinking, synthesis, triad, heaven-human-earth, past-present-future, thought-word-action, demonstrates love through creative imagination, comprehensive, fulfilment, encouragement, assistance, talent and skills, culture, wit, a love of fun and pleasure, freedom-seeking, adventure, exuberance, brilliance, free-form, being brave, non-confrontational, free-form, rhythm, passion, surprise, sensitivity, self-expression, affability, enthusiasm, youthfulness, enlivenment, psychic ability, manifesting and manifestation.
Took little Mitch (my Mums dog) in to the hospice today and have to say I was shocked how quickly once again her health has changed, Mum wasn’t really with it, I sat with Mitch on my lap just looking and our life flashing before my eyes.
I can’t explain how I feel, I’m numb and silent, there’s so much I want to know and ask. Why was I never good enough? What was the reason for Mums rejection? Even now everything is a secret from me, it’s all between Mum and my two brothers. Still there’s control. Why?
It started snowing “look Mum it’s snowing” Mum said it never snows here because she lives by the coast, but it snowed and it snowed hard.
This is why the hospice is called “Oakhaven“