Future Life Progression 

Well that’s what I had today. I’ve been working on myself since returning from my yoga and sisterhood shaman retreat. Cutting cords from my past working on my chakras especially the throat chakra, as I was told by my shaman teacher all my emotions are stuck in my throat. Strangle enough where my disability has stemmed from.

So after a quick talk, my healer suggested I went to the future as I’m four weeks away from moving from my home with no set plans in place. Due to trusting T and faults promises. So I agreed but only five years. 

I lay down on the bench become comfortable, and into relaxation I went totally protected by golden light. To my safe place I went staring up at the stars one particular star which came closer and close until it landed beside me a door opened, I looked inside to see loads of comfy cushions. I went in and made myself comfortable. Then off it flue. 

On landing I got out, asked what I could see. A cottage with blue shutters on the outside, a open fire and a vegetable patch. What else? A mans coat and cap. Then I saw a dog  lying in front of the fire and a walking stick, there where lots of trees around and a pub called the fox. Where is this cottage, I’m not sure but the sea is close. 

How did you get to this cottage? We bought it me and T. Is he someone you already know? Yes he’s my ex. Can you see anything else? Yes I have money coming and it’s not from the sale of my house. How’s T going to make this better? He’s going to have a shock a health shock a wake up call. We’re going to have a apartment in spain to so the children can use it and us in the winter. My bones hurt I said, there’s the walking stick again. Who is it? Mine I replied. Then I saw T bought the cottage. 

I saw my eldest will be getting married in three years. I checked on the others all doing good. Then I saw my Mum has liver disease. Strangle enough she’s been house ridden for the last months, I saw her passing very soon. Oh that where I get money from, strange as I’ve been told enough times in my fifties three years that I’m not in her will. Not something I wanted to see obviously.

Where do you see your self when you move from your home? At Pats I said first then renting in Albert street I saw something pointed. T going to ask me to move in but I’m going to say no. Then I saw a wedding it was mine on the beach in spain all our children where there, we where staying in a villa which we had hired. I then saw a turkey, Christmas time next year. 

What do you do with your time? I meditate, yoga and healing. I saw another operation I think next year. I must put my health at the top of every disishion I make, I said. I then notice I buy a ground floor flat in Fleet but don’t move in until next April time. 

What will make this journey easier for you? To relax, don’t worry and go with it. 

We then cut cords, first from my Mother the cord was attached to my throat (we use to communicate through notes when I Was a child, I wasn’t aloud a voice as a child) the second from my father which was attached to my solo plexus which took longer and made me feel sick (Sexually abuse). 

After coming around I felt lighter. 


When your legs don’t work like the use to

I can feel it slipping away, as I stand and here my knees about to collapse like Sunday, when I started to stand up  and found myself on the floor, my leg was totally numb like it wasn’t there. No warning like pins and needles. 

Reminds me of a song, Evergreen!

When your legs don’t work like they use too haha 

Five weeks, until I move to where l?

Al of a sudden it’s dawned on me I have five weeks to move out of my house.

I found panic strike shit where am I to live, I’ve had empty promises from he I forgave after going back to his ex three times. Now he has another good idea!! So I made an appointment to view a two bed flat up the road in the high street, lovely flats and location but two flights of stairs and no lift, just to get to the front door so that was a no no can’t manage one.

He phoned to see who I viewed with, in no one but myself. Well I ended up snapping then sending a text to explain my three options in black and white. 

Another viewing tomorrow one bed but with a balcony. Shared ownership and you don’t get a word 

How do you make such a large Decision? Help appreciated 

So my shared ownership home is underoffer and in the hands of solicitors. Reason being, due to my health and disability I have over time got into debt. Now all my children have left and have their own life’s to lead it’s also a empty nest. Once the sale go’s through I will leave with a lump of money but not enough to buy. As I’m on benefits, they will end until my equity is down to £6k in other words I will have to live on my equity. It breaks my heart as this home is still the HOME. My debt aren’t high compared to others in total £6k. I worked so hard as a one parent family to keep this happy home. 

So I can move in to my man friends place for a while and do winter months in Spain (better for my health) and if we work I could maybe get a rent to buy having a biggish deposit. That way I’m safeguarding my equity. 

Or go it alone, dead rent but who knows what’s round the corner? 

Or cancel the sale on his word, rent his place out, as he mortgage free which would cover my mortgage and a winter rent in spain. But this would mean him moving in, which would be great if only I can trust his word!!!

You see he’s been unfaithful twice and I’ve forgiven him! It was his ex of 16 years and I know in my heart he has no future with her as they’ve not lived together for over twelve years. An on off toxic relationship. I believe it’s a phyisical attraction. He takes her to nice expensive places in return for sex. He’s sixty years old but when together we really enjoy each others company, laugh, eat the same foods and have the same dreams.

So what the hell am I going to do, this home will be worth a bomb in the future it has so much prudential.