Why is he on my mind!


Is this synchronicity?

A friend popped round during the week and meantioned that she always thought that me and my first love would all way make it, and we’re meant to be together. She said “phone him and meet up for coffee” I thought I’d love to but dont have the cheek.

Then I pass him on the road, and just seen pictures of him on Facebook (we are not friends) looking happy with a large group of friends in the new forest, it looked like a birthday weekend. Lots of couple, which he seemed not to be!

How I use to love rubbing the side of his face, those whiskers! I look back now and remember his calm, balanced & quite manarisam very deep. Also remembering his ex girlfriend but now his friend, how he never told the truth from the beginning. So why is he on my mind! 

Nearly two years ago, he took me to Goa, we stayed in his apartment for a month. As we’d only been seeing one another for a month, we spent the month getting to know each other. Ups and downs but still beautiful. This was my first boyfriend at school and thirty five years had passed.

Was I too hasty! 

Right here, right now


I am learning through youtube.

Since my operation I’ve become a YouTube freak, I don’t read and Tv bores the pants off me. I watch a lot of Clay Lomakayu and Moojo vidios. Well prior to typing this, I passed by first love today, he was walking and I drove passed him, he’s been on my mind the last couple of months strangle enough. I think back now and realised we all have our problems. Then I remembered the words of Moojo a thought only had a recognition if you give it energy, don’t feed the thought. Move! Back to right here, right now, this moment.
I have way to many thoughts going through my head at the moment, with now coming to terms with the fact I have to sell my house. But where shall I go.
I’m trying so hard to stay grounded due to my health, personal I just want to travel and see where I end up.

Balance your journey


I’m one that’s still trying to enjoy to my maximum self, the here and now. Ive loved so deep, it was beautiful. But then I’ve  experienced grieve too many times to count. I’m lucky that at the turning of my health, I was already a stubborn  independent moo, which keeps me going, on my journey now. . It’s all about balance and live now, embrace this moment.