24/12/2016 4.05am

Laying in bed with my beautiful Granddaughter whilst it -5 out side. Second night in four nights first born and cheeky monkey decide to hit the bars, the night before Christmas Eve well it is Christmas Eve. Worried as any mum would be, I went out on the balcony to have another cig to be amazed by the bright shining stars lighting the sky up, as I look up asking the universe for a sign, but all I hear are wild dogs.

I treated myself to a full body massage with hot stones today to warm my brittle sore bones, oh it felt so good. As I went into total relaxation I imaged myself also receiving healing from the universe in a piramid all of a sudden I felt my spirit guide he bent over to kiss my third eye and said don’t give up! But as I lay here my back is on fire, electric shocks traveling like the speed of lightning. My heart beat beating so loud at the back of my head and my left ear throbbing so hard Nothing I do brings soothing or calm.

What am I doing here? Trying to bring joy to my family but at the same time disrespecting my pain that the univers feel fit for me to feel. One day maybe I will get to understand!


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